A walk home

  I decide to walk home spontaneously. I want to see how it feels to walk the distance that usually feels so short. My shoes are not strong, they’ve been falling apart, and there is no sidewalk on one of the paths, just gravel that scratches the soles and ruins them further. My bag weighs down my shoulder, my posture is now lopsided and I am aching but the walk is so good. It’s so slow and there is nothing that prevents me from taking in the world around me. I am close to the flowers that I usually admired from afar, through a speeding car’s window with only a second and half to take in their beauty. Rattlebox and Toothleaf are rather funny names for flowers that have captured my heart, but I have always loved silly things and silly people. The Rattlebox (Crotalaria retusa) is a beautiful plant, the petals appear soft as clouds and delicious to eat, but I wouldn’t know. The Toothleaf (Viguieria dentata) can be seen all around Abuja right now, growing tall and glowing. Each sight of it reminds me of fairy dust scattered around. A heavenly sight to behold when the sun is setting and the orange light hits the golden petals. 

Cars zoom past me, their roars and growls rival those of wild predators and I fear they will take my life at any moment. They go so fast and I am going so slow, the hares and the tortoise. I wonder, from time to time, when I go slow enough for my brain to think, why we demand so much speed. Why we are always so impatient. We want it all and we want it immediately, we do not care for the experiences and we do not care for the relationships. We do not want the seeds for anything other than its fruits, we do not care about the germination, the vulnerability to disease, the buds from the soon to blossom flowers or the first sign of the fruit. We want the fruit, delivered to us on a platter, and maybe cut into pieces, squeezed into juice or blended into a smoothie. We do not wish to expend energy and take time. Why are we conserving all our energy and why are we racing with time?

I buy a bunch of bananas with my transport money. Money well spent, I have craved bananas for days. On the walk, I plan to ask my sister if we should make a strawberry banana smoothie. I ignore bikers who call on to me, I have spent my 500 naira. I ignore the men who commented on my appearance. I greet the lady with three bags, but a lorry passed by and she doesn’t hear me. My bag is on a different shoulder and my legs have begun to ache but I have quite a distance to cover. I look at all the fruit vendors and promise to myself to buy watermelon or pineapple next time.

 I’m about to reach my home, the Ginger-leaf Morning glories are closed up. I stare at them and remember the pictures taken of them for my lover during a morning walk, before I could say the truth to him. People are playing football, I imagine a reality where I have the confidence to learn and play with them. The sun has set into a clean-cut orange circle. None of its rays hide its shape, the sun has become naked in the last seconds of its performance and I am so happy that she has accompanied me in my journey and that I have been an audience in her hours long dance.